Spoilers Ahead for Chance Dudinack’s “The Black Wyrm of Brandonsford” (OSR)
After making a deal with the goblin king, Hogboon, to capture the black wyrm, the Snack Club leave the castle and travel to the dragon’s lair. But unfortunately, on their way there, the dragon finds them first. The dragon belches out a thick, yellow, sulfurous smoke, choking the entire Snack Club. Coughing and wheezing, they run, knowing they’re no match for this dragon… for now.
Raw Skull (EB), decides to lay his bear trap in order to catch an animal. The plan is to force-feed the poor animal with the wine from the fauns’ grove… and then lay it in front of the dragon’s cave, lure it out, have it eat the beast, and get drunk, which hopefully makes it easier to capture said dragon. For some reason however, Aust Booker (OR) and Perrin Juno (SB) are both opposed to sacrificing a bear. Aust seems to have an ursa connection, and Perrin says he has communed with their spirits. But Raw Skull captures one anyway. Selina Milos (EC) chucks a berry at the bear. Aust talks to the bear and apologizes for the pain it’s feeling, while Perrin gingerly approaches to free it. Aust asks if it would like to be his pet and the bear snorts in disgust and runs away. Raw Skull sets out his trap again to capture another animal. This time an elk. So the Snack Club is OK with sacrificing an elk, but not a bear.
The Snack Club stuff the elk full of faun’s wine, hoist it on their shoulders and bring it to the entrance of the black wyrm’s cave. There is yellow smoke rising from the cave mouth, and as the dragon snores, rocks and stones rumble on the ground. Raw Skull volunteers to bring the elk as near as possible. But not being quiet enough, awakens the dragon. Raw Skull runs. The dragon slithers out on its fat belly to devour the elk. It gets drunk. It moves a little clumsily. Perrin uses telekinesis to float rocks in front of the dragon’s face to confuse it further. Selina sneaks past the confused dragon to see what’s inside the cave. It’s a LOT of treasure.
Perrin then grabs one of Aranna’s (AJ) arrows and dip it in the bottle of poison he took from Lisbet Grund. Both her brother, Lane (AB) and Slane (LC), sing a Power Eighties Rock song to Aranna as she fires her arrow, aimed at the dragon’s eye. The aim is true, it pierces the dragon’s eye. It is now drunk, blinded in one eye, and poisoned. Aust leaps up into the air and drives his sword into the dragon’s hide. Squidward (HA) casts entangle, in an attempt to capture it. The dragon breaks free.
The dragon is not happy, it rushes towards Raw Skull, claws and bites him. It’s severe damage. Raw Skull cannot take another attack. Aust goes in for another slash. Aranna fires another arrow. Selina sneaks up and tries stabbing it in the eye. Squidward casts entangle again. Both the dragon and Raw Skull are caught in it! The dragon snaps at Raw Skull once more. This could be it. And I roll terribly on claw number one… it fails… claw number two… it misses… and the bite… goes nowhere as well! Raw Skull lives! He has escaped by the skin of his teeth. Squidward casts thick skin on Raw Skull just in case. Lane casts fireball, Aust smashes again, Aranna fires another arrow. It goes through the throat of the dragon, and as it shrieks in a rasping dying breath… the dragon melts into a black ooze, revealing the skeleton of a dwarf!
The Only Good Dragon Is A Dead Dragon
Perrin theorizes that one of the dwarven miners was cursed. The Snack Club has defeated their first dragon. And when they search the dragon’s hoard, they discover a vast mound of treasure. Gold, rings, garnet earrings, a skull with ruby eyes and gemstone teeth, a diamond, the cutlass of a notorious pirate. But they have no way of bringing it back to town.
The Snack Club decide on who will go back to Brandonsford to hire laborers, horses and footmen. Aranna, Raw Skull and Aust are chosen to go while Selina, Lane, Squidward, Perrin and Slane guard their newfound treasure. The journey back to Brandonsford is eventful. They come across fae hounds looking for a golden fox, goblins pushing wheelbarrows, drunken ones. They murder four of them. At several points, a dryad only Aranna sees keeps giving her the “come hither” fingers. Aranna avoids it the first time, but can’t resist the second time. The dryad embraces Aranna and is about to pull her into the tree when Aranna yanks herself away. Out of dumb curiosity, Aranna Weaver almost became a part of a tree.
Meanwhile, back at the cave, the other half of the Snack Club see the same fae hounds and elven hunters searching for a golden fox. Two brothers with a dead pig slung over their shoulders are looking to kill the dragon too. They’re not very bright and walk away, only to come back and ask if they’re sure the dragon is dead. The Snack Club tell them to roast the pig and share it as a meal. Tad, who is short, fat and only has four teeth… and his brother, Zach, who is tall, dopey with a big Adam’s apple, oblige and they have pork for dinner.
Back at Brandonsford, Aranna and Aust hires ten wagons, eight laborers to drive the wagons, and ten footmen to help guard the treasure. Raw Skull decides to look for a cook. The Snack Club have decided to buy and run a tavern, and they are now preemptively looking for a chef. Brandonsford, however, is a small village and there are no star chefs to be found here. They travel back to the dragon’s cave.
The Snack Club and their hired laborers load up the treasure into the ten wagons, travel back to Brandonsford, and the town reeve tries to weasel them out of paying the promised 1,000gp bounty by asking for proof. The Snack Club show him the bottle of black ooze from the melted dragon. He says that proves nothing. They show him the treasure they found. He says, well, I guess you got paid already then. Then the Snack Club get nasty and threaten him. The Reeve pays up. And with that, the Snack Club carry their caravan of treasure out of Brandonsford and towards Kleg Nar.
Good Drune, Bad Drune
On their way to Kleg Nar, this party of 29 is a formidable force. They’re not taking chances on their treasure. The Snack Club hear rustling from the woods on their first encounter. They arm themselves. The rustling disappears. And further down the road, on their last leg to Kleg Nar, the fifth wagon from the head blows up in a cacophony of green fire. Drunes! Aust sends five footmen into the woods to their right, and another five into the left in search of the drunes. Aranna swings up on top of the caravan to survey the forest. Lane casts a wall of fire to protect two of the caravans. Selina and Slane follow the footmen to the left, Lane and Perrin to the right. With numbers on their side, they hunt down the drunes. Squidward entangles one. Slane wrestles one to the ground. Aust flies through another. Footmen do their handiwork as well.
Only this time, as the drunes fall to their death, some of them explode into a pile of emeralds! Selina ties up the drune Squidward had caught in a magical web. The Snack Club have finally seized a hostage instead of killing all of them. Perrin plays good cop while Aranna plays bad cop. Aust tells Selina to tighten the ropes every time the drune is uncooperative. After some interrogation, they discover that the Dolmenwood Drunes have been hijacked by an overlord named the Emerald Enchanter. It is this green-skinned wizard who has commanded legions of Dolmenwood Drunes to sacrifice humans the last few years. What’s more, they’ve kidnapped humans for the enchanter to build an army of emerald warriors.
The drune, Moulsh Ishlum (EB), a very formal character, someone who wants to live in infamy, decides it is in his interest to join the Snack Club. The drunes are no longer his tribe. Many have fallen into the Emerald Enchanters ways. Others are too afraid to rebel. Moulsh wants to exact vengeance.
The Snack Club arrive at Kleg Nar. They deposit their treasure into the vaults, relieve their laborers, wagons and footmen, and charter a ship to head back to Ool Krut. The renovations for Willowby Hall are near done, and they are looking to invest their wealth on a tavern.
A Month of R&R
The Snack Club come home to Ool Krut. Raw Skull, Selina and Perrin shop for a tavern. Three are willing to sell: The Useless Imp, Crumbling Hammer, and Cantankerous Warrior. They purchase The Useless Imp and change the name to “Dragons in the Dark”. Raw Skull decides to retire from a life of adventuring to be the head chef at their new tavern. The Snack Club then spend a good twenty minutes talking about the type of food they would serve. They name their favorite restaurants to emulate. McDonald’s is shot down. Pasta Pollo is brought up. “Fast food but fancier” is suggested. They settle on The Keg and some restaurant in Scotland SB and EB went to. Aust, Raw Skull and Perrin then talk about staffing needs. They settle on 2 barkeeps, 3 bearers/wenches, 2 chefs (plus Raw Skull), and one scullery maid.
At this point, for some reason, the Snack Club decide that retcon-wise, Aranna Weaver is actually eight months pregnant with Slane Milos’ child. Or at least that’s what Slane is told. But others believe it to be Thork’s baby. I don’t know how we went down this path (Because I wasn’t paying attention to them making up this backstory), but yeah. The Snack Club spend a good twenty minutes discussing who the baby’s biological father is since our campaign has led Aranna to have romantic interest with Thork, Darrak, Velleris, and now Slane. Regardless, the storyline is now Aranna is pregnant and due this month in game time. After a lot of silly, mundane names (like Gary), they name him Bryce Icarus Milos, born on the month of the Badger, day of the Snail.
Meanwhile, Willowby Hall’s reconstruction is done, and The Snack Club spend another good twenty to thirty minutes discussing which room is theirs. Perrin, Moulsh, Selina and Squidward get the original Milos sibling rooms. The original alchemist lab is converted to a bathroom. Aust and Lane share the formerly vast walk-in dressing room of the Milos parents. Aranna and Slane share the Milos parent’s master bedroom. The Museum is converted to a gigantic nursery. Downstairs, the smoking room is now another bathroom. The sitting room is a medical room. The tapestry room is converted to a magical/alchemy laboratory.
Back in Ool Krut proper, Aust is putting up flyers, marketing Dragons in the Dark. The entire Snack Club decide to stay in town and tell their stories as entertainment for their new tavern. At one point, one of the chefs discover a case of rare vintage wine. Dragons in the Dark gains a great reputation in its debut month. At the end of the month, it earns a tidy profit of 1,260gp.
And back at Willowby Hall, Aranna, in-between nursing Bryce Icarus, spends some time in the library looking for clues as to why her face is on the pouch of ancient silver coins found in the Hole in the Oak. She stumbles across an old tome called “Magical Mysteries”, and inside, she discovers that one of her great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmothers was a powerful sorceress named Ivrian the Unkind, and had vanished into the mountains of giants in search of immortality.
It is a very productive month, this month of the Badger. But it’s time to adventure once more, and this time, it’s to end this whole entire Dolmenwood Drune debacle. They are taking their fight to the Emerald Enchanter.
But first – Aranna, Selina and Perrin, decide at the last minute that leaving baby Bryce with Raw Skull is probably a terrible idea. So they travel to Earth’s End and introduce Sorella Juno to her grand niece. Sorella happily takes on the duty as Bryce’s caretaker while The Snack Club adventures.
The sea journey to No-Ombrulsk is uneventful. Lane and Aust had dimension door there a day earlier. They head south to where the Emerald Enchanter’s citadel is, on top of a craggy cliff.
/end session on the Year of the Worm, Month of the Wolf, Day of the Catamount
The Snack Club’s Portfolio
Stored in Wyrmskull Vault
(Opened Year of the Worm, Month of the Eagle, Day of the Fox)
- 19 Ice Necklaces x 200gp = 3,800gp
- 12 Ice Jewels x 150gp = 1,800gp
- Chest of Gold from Hole in Oak = 1,994gp
- 5 Opal x 200gp =1,000gp
- 1 Ruby x 800gp = 800 gp
- 6 Golden Rings x 200 gp = 1,200gp
- 1 Garnet Earrings = 142gp
- Skull with Ruby Eyes = 1,600gp
- Diamond = 463gp
- 100 Emeralds x 10gp = 1,000gp
- Petty Cash = 4,162gp
- Tavern Income = 1,260gp
- Month of the Bear Interest = (180gp)
- Month of the Badger Interest = (179gp)
Hidden Cache in Great Forest b/w Mlurg Nar & Gnamph Nar
The Snack Club’s Real Estate
- Willowby Hall (Mansion in Ool Krut)
- Dragons in the Dark (Tavern in Ool Krut)
- Y.Worm/M.Badger = +1,260gp
Chekhov’s Ticking Time Bombs
- Who is the Weaver ancestor, “Ivrian the Unkind” and did she achieve immortality?
- What has the Emerald Enchanter done to the Dolmenwood Drunes?
- Emma Frog is dead, but her infamous mass prison break in Ilthmar will have consequences.
- The Redclaws are allied with the Dolmenwood Drunes and HQ at Redclaw Castle
DM Notes to Myself
Great job, Snack Club, on planning the attack on the black wyrm of Brandonsford. Also, great job on hiring security for your treasure. Lots and lots of fun downtime activities this session.