It’s the Month of the Panther, Day of the Toad. The Snack Club are hanging out at their home in Willowby Hall, now staffed with footmen, a scullery boy, a seneschal and chamberlain, a chef, a porter, and a kennel master. Aranna Weaver (AJ) and Toad Slinoor (EC) are plotting how to take Nightraker from Glavas Roh (EB), as the accursed sword has injured and outright murdered allies. Toad attempts to tackle Glavas unawares. Lane Weaver (AB, played by AJ) begins casting a spell. Glavas finally succumbs to the pressure and promises to sell Nightraker. Toad accompanies him into Ool Krut.
But as they wander the streets, a few people are pointing at them and snickering. And as they head deeper into the winding streets, they see a crowd around a wall. They budge in to see a poster exclaiming the wondrous treasures kept at The Emerald Slab, a museum of strange delights and thrilling surprises in No-Ombrulsk. Most notably, the poster is advertising the gurgling brain-in-a-jar named Istrobian, the talking corpse Thesdipedes, and the loquacious Skull of Gobur… these are all items stolen from Willowby Hall a few weeks ago! The Snack Club are angry. They’re declaring war. They’re going to get their gear on, arm up and march to No-Ombrulsk to take back what’s rightfully theirs!
But before they do that, Glavas Roh locates a fence he knew from a while back, Syrie Face, leader of the Walruses. A gang of thieves who own The Blue Walrus in Ool Krut. She agrees to take Nightraker off their hands for 100gp. Aranna is not happy when she hears of this deal. Jahura Gaus (SB) tells them it’s money for a cursed sword. Let them have it.
Meanwhile, Gary the Snail (HA) who vanished last week shows up in Lankhmar, and makes a lonely journey back to Ool Krut.
Back in Ool Krut, with Nightraker dispensed of, The Snack Club begin their journey up to No-Ombrulsk by way of Ool Plerns. On the way there, they come across a lone trader who warns them of bandits near a bridge who ambush unaware people. The Snack Club thank him with a little gold and they cautiously approach the bridge. Glavas Roh scouts ahead. Sees nothing. Cross the bridge. Nothing. The rest of the Snack Club cross the bridge. Nothing. It appears that they had met a liar who thought warning about a potential ambush was fun.
Spoilers Ahead for Harley Stroh’s The Jeweler that Dealt in Stardust (DCC)
In Ool Plerns, the Snack Club are reminded of the reclusive Boss Ogo, who for several weeks now has vanished into his own home and has not made any public appearances whatsoever. It’s suspicious. The Snack Club decide to check out the house again. Climbing through the window Octopus broke last time they were here, they enter Boss Ogo’s house on Dowager Alley and Cheap Street. They walk behind the front counter, rummage through the storage boxes to find some gems, then remembering the shrieking floor in the hallway, Jahura Gaus casts levitate and creates a 10x10’ floating air carpet. The Snack Club step on.
We’re in dungeon crawl mode. They find a walled garden filled with spiders. Glavas walks in and is swarmed by spiders, dragging him down to the ground. Coil Mahogany (LC) cleverly remembers Glavas is wearing a ring of fire resistance, tosses a torch to Aranna, who lights it, and throws it at Glavas. He catches on fire, along with all the spiders, and they scatter. Glavas is not hurt by the fire with his magic ring, and scampers out of that garden and back on the magic air carpet. They explore a kitchen, a storeroom, find a trap door beneath a crate, float down to see thousands of spiders and three bodies strung up with more arachnids climbing in and out of their mouths. The Snack Club nopes the hell out of there, floats back up.
They float up to the second floor. It’s a library, but somebody went through every book, scroll and papyrus and tore everything apart. Jahura digs through the pile and pieces together a scroll for control fire. The rest of the Snack Club poke around the fireplace. Toad tries climbing up, falls and hurts herself. Glavas does the same and falls on top of Toad. Both decide to try shimmying up the chimney again instead of using the staircase. Toad gets up to the second floor and asks Lane to heal her. Glavas continues up to the third floor. Finds a study.
Meanwhile the rest of the Snack Club open the double-doors to another room. It’s got a singular candle lit and guttering atop of a goat-demon skull surrounded by a magic circle. The shadows in this room are starker and sharper. Jahura walks forward, hoping to grab the skull. The rest of the Snack Club follows. But the moment they step in, their shadows become animated. With a life of their own, they begin to attack their owners! Toad attacks Aranna’s shadow, and Aranna attacks Toad’s. Everyone else starts stabbing at their own shadows. Their shadows fight back. It takes a moment before they realize they should put the candle out. Lane tries walking through the magic circle to put the candle out. He hits a magical force. Jahura casts levitate and tries to lowers himself into the magic circle. He’s blocked there too. Finally, Aranna fires an arrow at the candle. It flickers out, the room goes dark, and the shadows vanish.
Back upstairs, Glavas is rummaging through the desk of Boss Ogo. Finds a set of keys. Keeps searching the room. Finds a false wall panel. Opens it, and sees a lock. Unlocks it with the keys and finds a hallway with three doors. He then hears a shout from downstairs. It’s Toad, yelling for him to come down and help with these crazy shadows. He hurries to the fireplace and trips. He falls, he tries to grab the second floor fireplace ledge, misses, and crashes into the first floor. It’s 2d6 damage and he could potentially die here… and rolls a 1 and 2 for 3 damage only. Glavas lives to see another day. And once again, instead of using the stairs, climbs up the chimney back up into the second floor.
The Snack Club are now looking at another double door. Toad tries breaking it down. No dice. Lane kicks the door in. Inside, they see a gaunt, shrunken man holding a crystal. Above the crystal is a portal of stars, galaxies and nebulae. Four alien spiders are sucking on the man, who they recognize as Boss Ogo. The walls are jet black with swarms of smaller spiders. Boss Ogo doesn’t appear to be suffering though. His eyes are manic with the knowledge of the alien gods. Glavas walks in and the four alien spiders attack. Glavas, once again, is swarmed by spiders. He cuts at them with his dagger. Aranna fires arrows, as does Toad. Aust Booker (OR) retconned in for a special appearance, flies in with his magic sword and slashes through an alien spider.
The Noble Death of Glavas Roh
Boss Ogo, grasping his crystal, laughs maniacally and calls forth another spider from the portal. The Snack Club shoot more arrows. Glavas keeps stabbing and cutting in spite of the coat of spiders on his body. Lane then casts control ice, dealing cold damage to everyone in the room (the spiders and Glavas). It freezes one of the alien spiders and deals damage to Glavas. He growls at Lane to stop. Lane realizes fireball might be a better spell as Glavas is wearing a ring of fire resistance. Casts it, and sends 5d6 damage at Boss Ogo. Boss Ogo is lit up like a funeral pyre. But as he blackens and burns, his body heals again. He calls forth another alien spider from the portal. Jahura levitates Boss Ogo up into the ceiling. Boss Ogo crashes against the ceiling and falls back to the floor, crystal still in hand.
That’s when Glavas steps forward and cuts his hand off. The hand grasping the crystal falls to he ground. Aust flies in and jams his sword into it. It cracks. He smashes it again. It shatters. The portal isn’t closed though. Spider legs are reaching out and about to descend into our plane of existence. Glavas walks up to the limp, weakened body of Boss Ogo to break his neck. Aranna, Aust and Toad are screaming at him to not kill him. Aranna draws an arrow and fires…
And as Glavas kills Boss Ogo… one of Aranna’s arrow pierces Glavas’ heart… Glavas dies… but at the same time, the moment Ogo’s neck is broken, the portal shrivels up and shrinks, sucking in all the alien spiders into it, and finally it crinkles into a small paper ball and vanishes. The swarms of earthly spiders in the room scatter and leave through windows, cracks, and whatnot.
Glavas was in the right to kill Boss Ogo and he died for it.
The Snack Club leave Boss Ogo’s house, and as they head downstairs, they see four bandits from Slevya’s gang heading up. They say they’re looking for treasure. The Snack Club tell them there’s nothing left in the house. Slevya’s thieves don’t believe them and head upstairs anyway. (There was treasure The Snack Club missed).
The Snack Club spend a week in Ool Plerns to heal up. In Ool Plerns, just like back home in Ool Krut, they see posters everywhere promoting The Emerald Slab. It enrages them. Aranna goes and pumps iron. Jahura works on his control fire spell. Lane spends money on luxurious experiences once again, and lucks out, meeting another noble from Sarheenhar. The Weavers are making inroads into the nobility in Sarheenhar.
Meanwhile back in Ool Krut, Gary the Snail makes it back home to Willowby Hall and is surprised to see the front door talking to him. Oakley and the Willowby Hall staff were informed of Gary and Gary is permitted to enter his house. He takes a quick breather, and hikes up to Ool Plerns to find the rest of The Snack Club.
Back in Ool Plerns, The Snack Club head up to No-Ombrulsk. On the way there, they come across a small girl holding a torn sack crying her eyes out. Some bullies had taken her vegetables that was supposed to be dinner. She’s afraid her parents will beat her if she doesn’t bring anything home. Aranna goes hunting and tracks down a deer. Jahura forages for vegetables with the little girl and finds enough to fill a new sack. Together, the Snack Club escort the girl back home. And what’s more, they give the poor family 30gp (a month’s wages). The Unger family are crying their eyes out at the generosity. It’s like the end of every episode of “The Secret Millionaire”.
The Emerald Slab
Onwards to No-Ombrulsk. They quickly and easily find the Emerald Slab. It’s the talk of the town. Everyone is saying how amazing the museum is and how everyone should become a member. The Snack Club approach the front doors and see a plaque. It says, By Appointment for WHSCK Members Only. Toad walks up and knocks. Virlan Gonov opens the door!!! Virlan, who you may recall, was forced to climb into a spiked pit to retrieve weapons by Lane Weaver (played by AJ). Who was abused and insulted. Who was humiliated.
Virlan is all casual and says, “what’s up guys?”. The Snack Club want in. Virlan says no. He slams the door on them. Aust is having none of this. He kicks the door and tries to break in. The door flies open and a bronze golem stomps out, raises its big gigantic fists and slams them down on Aust Booker. Aust is a bloody pulp. Aust is dead. Jahura at this point, decides to cast ventriloquism for some reason. It misfires and it creates a big booming sound. No-Ombrulsk watchmen appear to see what’s going on. They have pole-arms and halberds pointed at The Snack Club. Toad fires an arrow and kills a watchman! Cop-Killer! The watchmen attack Toad, misses, and she runs. The rest of the Snack Club are now running.
As Toad, Aranna, and Jahura run down the streets… Arden Vey (EB) pulls them into an alley to help them hide. Back in front of The Emerald Slab, the watchmen capture Coil, while Gary the Snail runs.
At this point, the Snack Club are panicking. They scurry just outside the city limits of No-Ombrulsk. Jahura and Aranna are coming up with ideas on what to do. Erevan Weaver (OR) is retconned into the situation. He tries to go to the mortuary where Aust’s body is so he can retrieve his magic armor. The city tells him that dead bodies left on the street and their affects belong to the city if a clear relationship can’t be proven. And Erevan is not related Aust. Also - they killed a cop. So…
At this point, it’s revealed that Arden Vey is actually a member of WHSCK and he goes to the leader, Krax Craven Maw to discuss The Snack Club situation. Krax is more than happy to give The Snack Club a one-day pass to the WHSCK museum. Arden Vey goes back to The Snack Club and apprises them of the deal. The Snack Club reluctantly and haltingly head back into No-Ombrulsk and towards The Emerald Slab.
Join WHSCK Today!
In the foyer of The Emerald Slab, The Snack Club see a giant green slab. It is the same emerald slab The Snack Club saw in the Emerald Enchanter’s citadel. The same one he used as a portal! Virlan is amused by their shock and confusion. The bronze golem is standing in the corner, ready to take care of trouble. Virlan then tells them to put one hand over their heart and another raised to swear an oath:
I, _____, solemnly swear to uphold the two truths and values of WHSCK.
The Snack Club are careless and shall be ridiculed upon sight and referred to as idiots.
Any adventure sites the Snack Club have visited shall be reported to supreme Lord and Protector of WHSCK, Krax Craven Maw.
These truths I hold to be self-evident. Long live WHSCK, the We Hate Snack Club Klub.
The Snack Club, obviously, hate this. But they swear the oath. And then Virlan asks them to put all their weapons and armor on the green slab. He reassures them that they will get their stuff back when they leave The Emerald Slab. Aranna and Lane leave. They’re not having any of this humiliation. Everyone else complies. The weapons and armor vanish into the portal. At this, Virlan mutters a magic password and a door opens with stairs leading down into the basement.
The basement is lit in a brilliant daylight by a sun globe (also taken from the Emerald Enchanter’s citadel). As they enter the museum, they see a lavish bar in the center of the room, serving the most exotic wines from all of Nehwon. There are beautiful artifacts everywhere. They see…
- The talking corpse of Thesdipedes
- Istrobian’s brain in a jar
- Skull of Gobur
- Azure Serpent Blade (+1, water breathing) from Hole in the Oak
- Portrait of fair maiden amid Whything Stones from Dolmenwood
- Carpets from the Emerald Enchanter’s citadel
- Aust’s armor with the broken chains engraved on the breastplate
It’s clear that WHSCK basically picks up all the treasure The Snack Club carelessly leave behind the dungeons they clear, but didn’t go through thoroughly enough.
Krax Craven Maw is standing there, smiling, pleased with himself. Standing next to him is Moulsh the Drune! Moulsh who betrayed the Dolmenwood Drunes to help the Snack Club, but was threatened with death, and left! And who else? Who else but Keyleth Gonov as well! Virlan’s brother who left the Snack Club after they abused Virlan! And who else? Who else? In the museum, all the guards are… Knife Twisters! The Lankhmar gang that The Snack Club betrayed when they joined the Red Claws briefly.
The Emerald Slab is a reminder of everything The Snack Club has carelessly left behind, allies they threatened and abused, and treasure they didn’t bother to search carefully from countless dungeons! Krax Craven Maw has invited the Snack Club here, stripped them of their weapons and armor, to gloat, and laugh and in an amused way, thank them for making him a rich man in No-Ombrulsk. Moulsh sneers at them and tells them of all the spells he has learned from Istrobian, Thesdipedes, and Gobur. Keyleth smirks at The Snack Club too.
Krax offers them a selection of his exotic, foreign wine. The Snack Club are too shocked to have any, except Erevan, who takes a bottle of Horborixen Date Wine. Krax then releases Coil back to their charge as a sign of “generosity” and tells them they’re allowed to visit anytime, as long as it’s one person at a time for 500gp per week.
At this moment, Toad, upon seeing everything WHSCK has acquired (and lost), all the members they’ve brought together in their mutual dislike of The Snack Club, that maybe, just maybe, the Snack Club are the bad guys. And Toad Slinoor decides to retire from The Snack Club.
After The Snack Club leave The Green Emerald, they begin to discuss what to do. Jahura suggests disbanding The Snack Club and rebranding. (Very apt for todays’ cancel culture). Aranna and Erevan are depressed and consider it. I chuckle and ask them, “So if you guys come across a problem you can’t solve with violence, you’re just going to give up?” AJ says, “YES!” Jahura begins plotting a heist with Erevan.
Meanwhile, EC is rolling up a new character named Daot-Daot Doubt (EC), an apothecarist who prays to the Spider God Mog, and makes weird scary potions.
Last minute bookkeeping: One week R&R in Ool Plerns: 147gp
/end session on the Year of the Leviathan, Month of the Panther, Day of the Mongoose
The Snack Club’s Portfolio
Stored in Wyrmskull Vault
- Chest of Gold from Hole in Oak = 1,994gp
- Skull with Ruby Eyes = 1,600gp
- Diamond = 463gp
- 102 Emeralds x 10gp = 1,020gp
- Gold Cube = 30gp
- 16 Gemstones x 26gp = 416gp
- 12 Gemstones x 100gp = 1,200gp
- 3 Rubies x 50gp = 150gp
- 4 Diamonds x 100gp = 400gp
- Jewel-Encrusted Dagger = 150gp
- Petty Cash = 4,356gp
- Tavern Income = 2,160gp
Hidden Cache in Great Forest b/w Mlurg Nar & Gnamph Nar
The Snack Club’s Real Estate
- Willowby Hall (Mansion in Ool Krut)
- Renovations: Building Wizard Tower (ECD. Y.Leviathan/M/Lion/D.Wasp)
- Dragons in the Dark (Tavern in Ool Krut)
- Y.Worm/M.Badger = +1,260gp
- Y.Worm/M.Wolf = +710gp
Chekhov’s Ticking Time Bombs
- Will the Snack Club actually attempt to break into The Emerald Slab?
- Emma Frog is dead, but her infamous mass prison break in Ilthmar will have consequences.
- The Redclaws are allied with the Dolmenwood Drunes and HQ at Redclaw Castle
- Both Toad and Jahura have upset their patron, Ningauble of the Seven Eyes, by not retrieving the hair of a gorgon. They have been tasked with finding three rare and exotic magic ingredients to appease him.
- The Lens Room in the pocket dimension revealed a pyramid with three statues. How will the Snack Club get back there?
Heat & Reputation
Session Counter for Levelling
|Gary the Snail||HA||L3||4||8|
DM Notes to Myself
OK, OK. NGL, I was giggling uncontrollably in my head the entire time while I brainstormed, developed and created WHSCK. I mean, it is the perfect answer to a bunch of disorganized, careless adventurers such as The Snack Club. Leave money on the table? Someone else will pick it up. It’s that simple. Threaten and insult your allies and hirelings? They’ll band together in their hatred of you. It’s perfect. It’s chef’s kiss beautiful. C’mon. You have to admit I’m a genius.
In other news, we are now tracking “heat” and “reputation” in each of the fifteen major cities in Nehwon. Heat is how much trouble they’re in, how upset that particular city’s watch/guard/government is with the Snack Club. And reputation is how famous or notorious they are for their deeds. If they have high “heat”, they run into more trouble whenever they head into the city. If they have high “rep”, it’s easier for them to buy things, find people, and get stuff. If they have low “rep”, the opposite happens.
Oh, and I’ve added a new section in the graveyard to honor the death of Glavas Roh. Someone who died doing the right thing. The first time it has ever happened with The Snack Club.